Happy Hallowe'en

HAPPY HALLOWE'EN!

 

PEACE.

Bonnie and Walt

Bonnie's Oddments, Pictorial Edition Part 2

Bonnie's Oddments, Pictorial Edition Part 2

The Hallowe'en costume pickings are fairly lean this year; however, there are always a few new good ones -

Nothing breaks the ice at parties like a beer keg, and if you run low, you can always head on over to the Sam Patch ...

The other costume? It does speak for itself, doesn't it?

This next costume could be described as 'shocking', I suppose. Any guesses on who this could be? Anyone?

You know you've earned a special place in history and a certain amount of respect when you've been chosen as fit to serve as a model for a Hallowe'en costume.

It's nice to see that our mice are getting into the spirit of the season -

Although we are registered as Democra... (wait - this just in - Defeatocratic), we do occasionally deviate from the party ticket and vote 'the other way'. Before the Mark Foley scandal erupted, we were planning to capitalize on our senator's catchphrase (Keeping in Touch) and run a series of pictures illustrating its aptness; however, we are sensitive types, and so will hold that particular satire until the furor has died down somewhat.

Withal, here are a couple of pix we just couldn't resist -

 

We are curious as to whether or not he is above renting himself out for any and all occasions - we haven't noticed him rushing to our sides lately, but then, we have not quite yet achieved seniority status. We can hope that in the not-too-far distant future, we will see ourselves in a photo such as this ...

And, to demonstrate that Republicans are presently on the lookout for new constituents, we offer this proof -

 

Don't worry, Senator Alesi, you still have the Defeatocratic vote ...

Is it really a good idea to buy your child a toy ATM? Yes, we know that the more children learn about survival in the adult world, the better off they will be, but still - this just doesn't feel quite right. It doesn't mention anything about a toy ATM card, but you can't access an ATM without one. It is not so great a step from there to revolving credit. Speaking of which, did you notice the little disclaimer 'money not included'? How realistic is that? And does it play the Super Mario 'success theme' when the $20 bills drop into the chute, as ours does?

Here are a couple of items that we ferreted out of The Salem News that Kathy enclosed as wrapping paper for the darling Hallowe'en-themed mouse canister that she sent us. If we had a camera, we would take a photo of it. Maybe if Kathy photographed it before she mailed it off, she can send us a copy so that we can properly display it.

Anyway -

 

After all the Monday physical activity, it's no wonder the poor seniors are ready for a Thursday appointment with a podiatrist. It's a marvel that they can even make it to the appointment.

In the first review, we are certain that that is a misprint, and it should have read 'bar' area, but just imagine if they really did have a bat area. Wethinks the word 'lively', in that case, would definitely be applicable.

And in the second review, just what, exactly, is considered to be an American accent? The review makes it sound as if one should not voluntarily patronize this establishment. The wait staff appears to leave something to be desired.

And lastly, our random rodent photo of the day -

 

"What? Whaddaya want? Whaddayou lookin' at? Mwaah! Mwaah! Mwaah!"

Oh, oh, oh! One last thing! We are soooooooooooo honored!

Before we received this, we were completely unaware that such an entity as the Western New York Frozen and Refrigerated Foods Association even existed. Lest you think that we subsist solely on microwave dinners, please note that the category includes meat and dairy products, of which we have been known to consume vast quantities. We do, however, consider this to be at best a dubious distinction, and we have no plans to attend, as it would likely require us to tailor our attire to the occasion, when we would prefer to tailor the occasion to our attire.

We hope shortly to return to the second part of the Tri-Town Extravaganza, in part because Kathy has sent us fresh material.

Until then,

Peace.

Bonnie's Oddments, Pictorial Edition

Bonnie's Oddments, Pictorial Edition

Here are a few more choice items that I have selected for inclusion in this space (and thanx to Walt for performing the grunt work  ;) )

I'll start off with an item that, if simply typed in, you might not believe, so I have included the actual snippet from the paper -

Same address, same zip, same entrepreneur - okay so far, but I have to wonder - what can an operation entitled 'Moneywise Academy' possibly have to do with an operation entitled ... well ... 'Stinkyfarts'?

In the same vein, I have to wonder if this next ad is an example of a job that Americans will - or won't - doo?

Can it be that immigrants are illegally crossing the border for this?

This next picture was taken from a special D&C publication called 'Our Pets'. One section was devoted to pictures, drawn by preteeners, that supposedly depicted their pets. The child who drew this has either an active fantasy life, or needs to be visited immediately by Child Protective Services ...

If we are not a stupid species, we had best be prepared to worship our future feline overlords (the Egyptians obviously had forewarning, and got their bid in early) -

Here is a face that only a mother could truly love -

And here is something else only a mother could ...

... well, you get the picture.

[By Bob Wallace (American, active ca. 1937) "Lotus Fore" and "Lotus Aft" circa. 1937. Gelatin silver print courtesy of the George Eastman House Collection]

I have given you some examples of the bad and the ugly (cue theme music), I leave you with an example of the good. All together now ...

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

It's not a mouse, but it is a rodent, and a damn cute one at that!

Peace.

Bonnie's Oddments

Bonnie’s Oddments

A small collection of curios has been piling up, and now seems as good a time as any to dump them into this space for our own future amusement, if for no one else’s. Bonnie, take it away -

We are blessed to live in close proximity to the Erie Canal, the local part of which is popularly known as the Barge Canal. Along with the usual complement of dedicated boaters, there are tour boats for those who wish to sightsee. One of these, a packet boat called the Sam Patch, is named after one of a number of idiots who were wont to leap from a platform built above the Genesee Falls for the express purpose of entertaining crowds and also, one presumes, for self-aggrandizement. To quote from Wikipedia -

"In September of 1827, Sam Patch jumped 70 feet from the top of Passaic Falls in New Jersey, just for the fun of it. Patch became a local celebrity and began a brief career of jumping off things to please onlookers. Nicknamed "The Yankee Leaper," Patch took a 120 foot plunge over Niagara Falls in October of 1829 and lived, becoming the first person ever to do so. On 6 November 1829 he jumped 100 feet from the Upper Falls of the Genesee in Rochester, New York, accompanied by a pet bear. A week later, on Friday the 13th, Patch made the jump again, this time without the bear, and didn't survive. His body was not found immediately, fueling speculation that he had somehow pulled a fast one. Four months later his corpse was found in the Genesee River."

Perhaps, if he had thought to take the bear along on his second jump, he might conceivably have survived. It would at least have provided a cushion.

For those who wish to know more, or to view photos of his headstone, here is a useful link -

http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=3227

That was a long way to go for this small item from the Brighton-Pittsford Post, but hey -

"Deputies responded to the Sam Patch at 1:15 a.m. that morning (Aug. 17), according to the reports. One suspect ran from the boat and was caught, while a second suspect was found on the boat. They allegedly said they were at a party where the alcohol was almost gone, so they went to the Sam Patch to unload the contents of its coolers into their car."

Bonnie’s observation: "Why go to Wegmans and buy the booze when you can get it for free?"

A couple of items from the Police Beat -

East Rochester

" A man was arrested after police saw him standing on the sidewalk waving a stun gun at 12:13 a.m. Sept. 23. The police officer heard the man yelling and the crack of the stun gun. The man got into a car and tried to hide the gun when police approached."

Where, we are forced to wonder, does an average citizen of a small town acquire a working stun gun? We can assume that the gentleman was inebriated, given the place, time and date, but still - a stun gun?

An example of a local drive-by attack -

Irondequoit

"A woman was standing outside Starbucks on East Ridge Road when a female driver in a gray Saturn pulled up to her at 9:13 p.m. on Sept. 29. The driver yelled an expletive and then threw a wine glass at the victim. The glass, which did not hit the victim, broke when it hit the ground."

This is the worst kind of example of potable snobbery - simply because one chooses to imbibe (admittedly expensive) coffee as a beverage should not expose one to disrespect.

There are other items, but they will require us to hook up the printer, and time does not allow for that at the moment. So, until the next time,

Peace.

 

The Way it is Today

A curious thing has happened. I find that the red flags that I normally watch for to ascertain whether or not Bonnie is about to have an episode are appearing again - this time, however, they are appearing in regard to myself.

I have trouble arising from bed; I have no real desire to. My appetite has diminished appreciably. Pursuits that would normally give me enjoyment hold little or no attraction for me. My ability to maintain concentration is not what it should be. There is a sense of surreality to my existence that has heretofore not been present, and I find myself listening more closely to neighborhood sounds than is my usual wont. If I saw these behavioral traits manifesting in connection to Bonnie, I would be on the phone to her therapist soonest.

But they are occurring to me.

I cannot afford this. I don't need this shit. The weather is rough enough without adding this to it. Nevertheless, I'm going to try to ride the storm out.

Items that appear here will be instigated by Bonnie, except for the occasional puzzle. I find them to be about the only things that, at present, hold any interest whatsoever for me, and I will cling to anything to get through this. Wish me luck.

Peace.

 

The Eighth Member

October 8/9, 2006.

North Korea is reported to have detonated a nuclear bomb on this date in history.

Do you feel safer?

Will the madness never end?

Peace.

The Tri-Town Area Extraordinary Police Blotter Extravaganza (Part 1)

We’d like to mention that we’re going to miss Kathy’s entries; she is entering a sabbatical period and will not be writing in her journal for awhile. We will anxiously be awaiting her eventual return to J-land. We send our blessings and best wishes to her, and hope that others of you will do the same. In the meantime, she has kindly sent us a wealth of material that, we believe, she meant us to scrutinize with the object of rendering it in our own (hopefully unique) fashion.

Police blotters often include, amidst the dross of domestic squabbles, valuables and vehicles stolen, and countless DUIs, rare gems of oddities that we cannot seem to refrain from commenting upon. Without further ado, we offer up a special out-of-town entry, herewith entitled

The Tri-Town Area (Boxford, Middleton, Topsfield, MA) Extraordinary Police Blotter Extravaganza

(These entries are taken from the estimable local journal Village Reporter, covering events in the Tri-Town area - instead of organizing them by date and/or town, we prefer to categorize them by occurrence and topic, because that method seems to offer a more cohesive layout than might otherwise be the case.)

To begin - some individual entries can be seen to form a logical sequence, as in this instance (from Middleton) -

Aug. 4: 10:30 pm - resident complains of loud party on Emerson Lane.

Aug. 5: 12:05 am - noise complaint, Emerson Lane, nothing found.

We must presume that the party broke up.

Or this (also from Middleton) -

Aug. 2: 9:49 pm - attempted to serve restraining order on River Road.

Aug. 3: 7:29 am - restraining order served on River Road.

Evidently the party was out for most of the night. We applaud the persistence of the police.

This sequence indicates that some individual or group had a busy day in Boxford -

Aug. 3: 6:43 am - Lakeshore road resident reports that air conditioning unit at house was paintballed overnight.

7:20 am - Lakeshore Road resident complaint that vehicle and house had been paintballed.

2:06 pm - residence paintballed on Lakeshore Road.

7:12 pm - Lakeshore Road residence reported paintballed.

7:18 pm - residence on Lakeshore Road hit with paintballs.

We're guessing that the reporter grew tired of finding various ways to describe identical incidents. And someone really had issues with the residents of Lakeshore Road.

In Middleton, the East Street beach would appear to be sacrosanct -

Aug. 1: 4:59 pm - officers asked non-resident to leave town beach area on East St.

6:20 pm - resident reports dogs on town beach, gone when police arrived.

Aug. 2: 7:05 pm - caller reported to Animal Control, three dogs running around beach on East St. Party leaving when Sgt. Jones arrived.

And also in the non-resident category -

Aug. 2: 12:23 pm - resident reports people jumping off Thunder Bridge and parking lot crowded with non-residents.

Damn those dogs and non-residents!

We must wonder if there is any correlation here, also from Middleton -

Aug. 9: 3:45 pm - skateboarders asked to move along from sidewalk on Lake St.

Aug. 10: 7:00 am - malicious destruction on Lake St.

This has to be our favorite sequence, from Topsfield -

Aug. 12: 9:59 pm - loud party, River Road.

10:20 pm - noise complaint, River Road.

10:43 pm - River Road complaint, music turned back on after officer leaves.

10:57 pm - kids ran from party, reported by Danvers PD, mutual aid.

11:15 pm - music coming from party, River Road.

They're baaaaa-aaaaaack!

Then there are the animal follies, which, Rochester and environs being heavily populated, seldom make it into the grudging quarter-page of space allowed our Police Beat, but around the Tri-Town area seem to be more numerous, or perhaps just better reported.

To wit -

Aug. 5: 12:17 pm - (Boxford) party reports they hit a deer with their vehicle on Main Street. No damage to car, deer ran into woods.

12:17 pm - Main Street resident complaint that neighbor's dog is destroying caller's personal property.

Missing a chance at an injured deer would frustrate any dog, we think.

Aug. 6: 10:05 pm - party reports seeing baby deer on Route 97. Gone on arrival.

Did they think the deer was going to hang about waiting patiently for them?

Aug. 7: 2:23 am - fight between a raccoon and a dog reported on Washington St. ACO notified.

We live in a heavily-wooded area and there are many fights between raccoons of a summer night; we have no raccoon/dog fights here, because owners know enough to obey the leash laws. If we called the Animal Control Officer (who lives on our street), he'd forcefully tell us to get a grip and not to call him again.

From Topsfield -

Aug. 4: 10:50 am - bat in house on Alderbrook Drive.

Aug. 6: 8:35 pm - bat flew inside vehicle on Ipswich Road and Asbury Street.

Okay, we get it. Topsfield has a bat cave. Alert Bruce and Dick.

There is another part to come, but we are feeling a bit like we're sitting in heavy downtown traffic right now, so the conclusion will be along later.

Peace.