Even though it's late/early, I wanted to express my heartfelt thanks to everyone who took the time to stop by and let me know that you are there and you care. Bonnie is resting comfortably right now (not sleeping, no, but resting) and in about 7 hours or so she'll be almost her old self, until her brain goes into overdrive once more and the downhill trip begins. The cycle is depressingly familiar (and no, that's not a pun, my sense of humor has temporarily taken a leave of absence.)
To test myself, I assayed a very short trip outside today to retrieve the paper. I have not been outside in a year, and, cold as it was, I reveled momentarily in the fresh air. And then I tried the steps. My friends, I can no longer do steps. I know now that I will be completely unable to go grocery shopping, and I will not be able to visit Bonnie in the hospital. Those activities now lie outside the scope of my limitations, and the knowledge is chipping fragments from the rock that I am supposed to be.
I must try to get some rest now.