Fret not, news junkies! (We love that line) Having succumbed to the urge to seek out the curious and bizarre, we offer, for your approval, a series of articles guaranteed to waste some of your valuable time. We shall waste no more of your valuable time than absolutely necessary, so let us begin.
BIG-HEADED 'PREHISTORIC' MOUSE IS ALIVE IN EUROPE
Now we venture to claim that we bow to no one in our love for small furry mammals, but does the world really need more mice?
NEW SQUIRREL-LIKE RODENT DISCOVERED IN PERU
Ditto with tree rats - aren't there enough of these creatures burrowing into our lawns without adding others?
(Thanx and a tip o' the Mott manes to Debra for providing the threads to these stories)
To swipe an idea from Dave Barry, the former and currently occasional Miami Herald humorist, 'Now the terrorists are using sponges!'
MICROWAVE EXPERIMENTS CAUSE SPONGE DISASTERS
Is it necessary to spell out in excruciating detail exactly how to nuke a sponge? Is common sense dead?
Common sense is also a hallmark of this next story - this tragedy might have been prevented with a little more care -
WOMAN ON POTTY BREAK FALLS INTO FRIGID LAKE
It is always wise to assure that there are proper facilities in a proximate location.
Lastly, a headline we would like to see - but do not expect to:
PREZ TO ENTER REHAB
Sadly, we cannot provide a link to this particular story, as it is, of course, imaginary. However, we can provide a snippet of it below.
According to White House Press Secretary Tony Snow, President George W. Bush has arrived at a determination to enter a rehabilitation facility. Following in the footsteps of such celebrities as Mel Gibson, Tara Connor, Nicole Ritchie and Lindsey Lohan, President Bush is seeking to boost his badly sagging poll ratings and to curry favor with the American people by burnishing his tarnished image as a wanton warmonger ...
Stay tuned for further semiprecious gems.
Bonnie and Walt