Hi. Bonnie here. I'm not above blowing my own horn, so be prepared for a tantara.
You'll remember that in the post A Survey Like None Other the other day, I quoted Dorothy Parker, "What fresh hell is this?"
Well, today in Scott Adams's Dilbert strip, the first panel included this quote. And, on Countdown with Keith Olbermann tonight, Keith used the quote.
All I'm saying is,
Scott Adams and Keith Olbermann read our blog!
Good night, and good luck.
Peace.
We debated whether we wanted to bother expressing ourselves, because, due to our residing in the sorry backwater of dialup, we can't see the ads that are adorning the headers of many (perhaps all) journals. But even though we can't see them, we know that they must be there.
We do not want aol-supported advertising on our journal. We pay $240 per year for this subscription, and this is a violation of our personal space.
A further outrage is the placement of these ads without any warning whatsoever. We don't care if, buried somewhere in the TOS agreement, there is a clause that allows aol to commit an atrocity such as this.
This is completely unacceptable. If you at all care about the feelings of your paid subscribers, you will remove these objectionable pieces of excrement now. Are you listening, aol??
Peace (as if).
This is a test. This is only a test. Do not be alarmed.
We have created a new journal (just in case), the address is http://ofmiceandpuzzles.blogspot.com
We hope to see you all there!
Peace.
Bon & Mal
Let's see if this will let me save now.
(This page sponsored by the National Rhinitis Association. "Rhinitis! Catch it today!")
Heard on the local news last night: "GOOD NEWS! No one won the MegaMillions lottery tonight!" We presume that the "good news" is that we now have a chance at missing out on even more money when they next hold the lottery. Oh joy.
And now:
For any new visitors, we'll reiterate the directions - each column, row and block of nine boxes must contain only one of the listed letters. If you solve the puzzle correctly, the name of a J-lander will appear in the puzzle (hint: the name is always located on the diagonal). The anagram/fill-in portion features the journaler's name and his screen name (whoa - another hint! Aren't we feeling generous today?)
A joke before we go -
A harried young stockbroker, desperately attempting to find a way to earn more commissions, looked up from his work to find a well-groomed, nattily dressed individual watching him. The broker said "Excuse me? Why are you watching me?" In a mellifluous voice, the man sang "Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste .... Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name."
The broker said "Oh, ok, I know who you are. What do you want?"
The devil replied "Your soul, of course. In return, I will arrange it so that you will never lack for commissions, and when you die, you will end up here." The devil turned his palm toward the ceiling, and upon it there appeared a holographic image of a high-end gentlemen's club, with freely flowing liquor, exotic dancers and men in rolled-up shirtsleeves and loosened ties merrily carousing.
The broker said "Can this be true?"
"Oh, yes" the devil said. "I never lie."
The broker said "It's a deal! You can have my soul."
"Done." pronounced the devil.
In the fullness of time, nature took its course, and the broker passed away. Arriving at the gates of Hell, he waited expectantly for the promised reward. The gates swung wide, but instead of the promised vision, he saw naught but lakes of boiling mud filled with screaming humans, lit only by the flickering of flames.
In a cloud of sulfurous vapor, the devil appeared and said "Welcome." The broker, distraught, said "What's this? Where is the vision you promised?"
The devil laughed and said "Before you were a prospect. Now you're a client."
Peace.
Okay, we'll take a shot at this 'Survey Like None Other' (courtesy of Christina)
1. What sign are you? Aquarius and Taurus
2. What is your favorite color? Amethyst and Emerald
3. How many waffles could you eat in one sitting? Usually four, five if I'm hungry / Two, three if I'm hungry
4. Can you touch your tongue to your nose? Whaddawe look like, contortionists? Besides, there are better uses to which one can apply one's tongue.
5. If you had to choose between cats and dogs, which would it be? Dogs /cats
6. What is something you have learned recently? Infirmity is not disability
7. What is your favorite quote? "Several years ago Ben Graham, then almost eighty, expressed to a friend the thought that he hoped every day to do 'something foolish, something creative and something generous.' " - Warren Buffet "What fresh hell is this?" - Dorothy Parker
8. What is your favorite entry in your own journal? One we haven't written yet
9. What color is your bedroom? Mahogany
10. Where is your favorite place to visit? The uncharted landscapes of our imaginations
11. What is one thing you want to accomplish this year? Surviving to see 2006
12. Why do you write in a journal? We believe this was answered in 'Anatomy of a Journal' (July 24 - 26 entries)
13. What is your favorite joke? The short-short video 'Bambi Meets Godzilla' / I can't tell you my favorite - teehee
14. Do you like the city or the country? We live in the country. Does that answer your question?
15. (In) What style is your house decorated? Early clutter
16. Who is your favorite artist? Jon Gnagy (heh heh) / Don Martin LOL
17. Can you pat your tummy and rub your head at the same time? Briefly and spastically / No, but it's fun to watch Mal try
18. Are you a night owl? You bet we are
19. What is something you love in your house? Our collection of books and magazines
20. Do you believe in God? Oh,yes, we believe in the Creator
21. What hobby could you never give up? Puzzling
22. What color makes you think of Hope? Sky blue
23. What color makes you think of Love? Rose red
24. What is your favorite flower? Lady's-slipper / Lilac
25. If you had one wish for the world, what would it be? Peace
26. What's the best surprise you have ever received? The discovery that we were falling in love
27. What can you cook like no-one else? Bacon 'n' eggs / Yankee Pot Roast
28. What do you think about most? The wonders of married life
29. Who is your favorite poet? We play no favorites
30. And last but not least, if you could wrap yourself up in one word, what would that word be? We do this everyday - that word is - togetherness
(Are we done? Can we go now?)
Peace.
The furnace is on, the temperature is 36 degrees, almost low enough to form a ghostly scrim on shallow puddles, and the serenity is heavenly. If you listen closely, you can hear the quiet squeal of an exercise wheel, but nothing else intrudes upon the blissful blanket of silence that has descended upon our pleasant corner of the world. Bonnie is doing her puzzles and listening to the radio, I am here in front of the electronic hearth, and our mice are doing what they do best, being mice.
This is a wonderful life, my friends, and an amazing world that has been placed into our hands, entrusted to us as its stewards, a classroom where we are taught myriad courses, a curriculum necessary to our advancement into a vaster and grander world. I have used this metaphor before, and will continue to, because it is the best understanding that Bonnie and I have been able to pluck from the totality of our experiences.
The difference from other classrooms is that the teacher is not apparent. The Creator is standing beyond a one-way mirror, watching as we children freely roam the classroom, selecting and inspecting whatever objects we may find, reading what instructional material has been left for us, left alone to learn at our own pace. There are to be found in this room things to fascinate us and things to repel us. We must analyze them all, scrutinize them from all angles, and derive what wisdom we may from our study, because the knowledge we gain is crucial to our advancement to the next grade.
Not all children will learn the information integral to passing; some will take away from their studies the wrong lessons, and some will simply refuse to gain understanding. Some students will become belligerent and disrupt the classroom in an attempt to prevent others from learning. It is definitely possible that those children who fail to pass the final exam may be held back, until realization sinks in and reason takes hold, allowing them to learn properly what they needs must.
The students who have absorbed the material, who have acquired the information necessary to further their progress toward the next level, will be well rewarded, for not only will they have enriched themselves, they will have discovered the vehicle whereby their journey into the great beyond will be facilitated. Can one ask for more than that?
Peace.
(news flash - for immediate release)
(source - Al Jazeera Television)
JACKO RENOUNCES AMERICAN CITIZENSHIP
(translation follows - "Jacko renounces American citizenship ... ")
SELLS NEVERLAND RANCH
("sells Neverland Ranch ...")
TRANSFERS CITIZENSHIP TO BAHRAIN
("transfers citizenship to Bahrain")
In an unrelated story, Bahrainian authorities are currently searching for a number of children who have recently gone missing. Many of them were apparently last seen in the company of a thin, rather short, pasty-looking man. Eyewitnesses have stated that the man was wearing sunglasses, a curious blazer adorned with epaulets and medals, appeared to be carrying a large blanket and a 12-pack of Coca-Cola, and walked with an unusual sliding gait. Authorities are exceedingly anxious to question this individual.
30
Peace.
