(This page sponsored by the National Rhinitis Association. "Rhinitis! Catch it today!")
Heard on the local news last night: "GOOD NEWS! No one won the MegaMillions lottery tonight!" We presume that the "good news" is that we now have a chance at missing out on even more money when they next hold the lottery. Oh joy.
For any new visitors, we'll reiterate the directions - each column, row and block of nine boxes must contain only one of the listed letters. If you solve the puzzle correctly, the name of a J-lander will appear in the puzzle (hint: the name is always located on the diagonal). The anagram/fill-in portion features the journaler's name and his screen name (whoa - another hint! Aren't we feeling generous today?)
A joke before we go -
A harried young stockbroker, desperately attempting to find a way to earn more commissions, looked up from his work to find a well-groomed, nattily dressed individual watching him. The broker said "Excuse me? Why are you watching me?" In a mellifluous voice, the man sang "Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste .... Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name."
The broker said "Oh, ok, I know who you are. What do you want?"
The devil replied "Your soul, of course. In return, I will arrange it so that you will never lack for commissions, and when you die, you will end up here." The devil turned his palm toward the ceiling, and upon it there appeared a holographic image of a high-end gentlemen's club, with freely flowing liquor, exotic dancers and men in rolled-up shirtsleeves and loosened ties merrily carousing.
The broker said "Can this be true?"
"Oh, yes" the devil said. "I never lie."
The broker said "It's a deal! You can have my soul."
"Done." pronounced the devil.
In the fullness of time, nature took its course, and the broker passed away. Arriving at the gates of Hell, he waited expectantly for the promised reward. The gates swung wide, but instead of the promised vision, he saw naught but lakes of boiling mud filled with screaming humans, lit only by the flickering of flames.
In a cloud of sulfurous vapor, the devil appeared and said "Welcome." The broker, distraught, said "What's this? Where is the vision you promised?"
The devil laughed and said "Before you were a prospect. Now you're a client."