Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Stealing a Theme From Celeste

Questions Without Answers -

     1. Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it ?

     2. Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white?

     3. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

     4. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

     5. On electric toasters, why do they engrave the legend "one slice"? How many pieces of bread do they think we're going to try to stuff into that slot?

     6. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with the vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

     7. How do those dead bugs manage to get into closed light fixtures?

     8. Considering all the lint that collects in the dryer, if you kept drying your clothes, would they eventually disappear?

     9. Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open at the end you first try?

    10. When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with their cart, then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "That's all right." ? Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt!" ?

    11. Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

    12. Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is directly proportional to the distance between the items and the curb?

    13. In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

    14. How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

    15. If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it the way your wife suggested you should?

    16. The statistics on sanity indicate that one out of four Americans is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think about your three best friends - if they're okay, then it must be you.

Two morons meet on a dusty country road. One of them is carrying a big sack labeled 'chickens.'

"Chickens, eh?" says one guy. "Hey, if'n I guess how many chickens you got there, will you give me one?"

"Heck," says the guy with the sack, "if'n you guess right, I'll give you both of 'em."

The other scratches his head and guesses "Ummm.......... five?"

(Material borrowed from a humor website)





jcrazytrain said...

Stealing is a crime lol I love it hahahaha D

thinkingoutloud said...

in regards to #1...I haven't had to call Dell in forever.


Niki :x

fitzzer said...

good one!

mutualaide said...

Argh.  Double Argh.  Comments and such are acting weird and wild on my laptop today!

Let me answer question 1 for you:  In this house, this week, YES!

and number 15?   YES!

16 -- It's me!  I know it's me!

randlprysock said...

Oh that chicken joke is funny!  Thanks for sharing!!  These statements are awesome and many are reflective of things I've often thought and wondered about.

sunnyside46 said...

made me smile on a morning when I have to go to work with a toothace and I owe my dentist 814$!