Monday, June 27, 2005

Spirit in the Sky

There are days like today, when the Spirit is moving so strongly, that I feel compelled to witness just a tiny bit. I don't witness like the Jehovah's Witnesses; one of my aunts is a Witness, and a more dour, joyless sect I can't imagine. I have learned all I want and need to from her; if you want to know, I'm sure there are Witness websites that will be happy to educate you.

I have previously mentioned that my religion is my own; it is a simple distillation, a concentrating and streamlining, of what most extant religions are supposed to teach.

I had an epiphany during a trying period in my life, I shall not forget it. It came not long after I found myself openly, unashamedly sobbing in the middle of a small parking lot. A witness told me later that it was the most gut-wrenching thing he had ever seen, and I believed him. It's not something you see every day.

At that moment, I had doubts that I could go on. Without realizing it, I had been given the strength to carry on and perform the acts needed to survive and prosper. I was still unaware of the presence of the Creator in my life, but I did engage in some unfocused prayer, something I had not done in many years. It took the epiphany and the resolution of my troubles to compel me to realize that there was indeed a true Creator, not an intellectual construct but an actual Presence.

Allow me to say that I am not in contact with the Creator; I do not receive calls on my cell phone as some congressmen seem to be able to; I have had only one vision, but it was that vision that compelled me to believe.

And I do. Truly. I have no words to convey how I know that the Spirit is within, it is simply a feeling, a fullness that is not normally there. It comes and goes; unfortunately, it usually precedes a drop into the depths, but I'm getting used to it, and I sometimes wonder if the depression is the result of the emptiness that occurs when the Spirit has left.

I am a sinner. I have not lived an exemplary life. But I know now that it is inconsequential. There are only two requirements that are asked of me. The first is to believe. Oddly enough, I am forced to believe, because my life has become so much better, so much more meaningful, since I gave over my attempts to remain a skeptic.

The second requirement is only this: follow the Golden Rule. Respect others as you would be respected.

It sounds so simple, I know.

Since I have begun to truly believe, I have never prayed; not for wealth, not for health. I have asked for nothing, and yet I have received so much. I have been granted a small talent for craftsmanship, and a peace that I had never before realized was possible. I do not, will not pray, but I offer thanks and affirm my belief every single day.

I'm sorry this was so long, and I hope I haven't offended anyone, for I am not out to convert, but only to witness.

God/dess bless and keep you.


1 comment:

sistercdr said...

What a beautiful expression of your faith.  You described the awareness of the presence of the Divine so well, and the drop that follows.  I think you're dead on target about the emptiness, but I don't think we're cut out to live in full cognizance of the Spirit all the time.  We couldn't handle it.