... pass before my eyes, a curiosity ...

MEDIA COOL

I hold in my hands Vol. 1 - No. 1 of a newspaper entitled "East Rochester POST News." It was newly issued this week (although it is an antecursor of a previous incarnation that they expected people to subscribe to. It is now free.) It has 2 sections, ER news and the classifieds, plus 2 pages of articles and puzzles for the kids. East Rochester, you'll remember, is the optimistically named town near which we live. It bears the same relation to Rochester as a speed bump bears to Mt. St. Helens.

The thing that we find astonishing about this first issue is that on virtually every one of the first ten pages, there is a strip of coupons put out by 'Popeyes Chicken & Biscuits' (2 on the last page!) Yet nowhere in the whole publication is there an ad for 'Village Fair' ("Our meats are freshly cut!"), sometime home of dubious and unheard-of cuts of meat. We guess they're too good to advertise in their own hometown paper. Shame.

Digressions into ad-land. We have recently seen a commercial for a product called 'UrineGone.' Leaving aside the name, there is included in the commercial this tagline: "It has an appetite for urine." We could have happily lived our lives without ever having heard that particular sentence.

Another commercial that we find vaguely disturbing is the one shown (appropriately enough) mainly on Comedy Central.The first time that we ever saw one of these commercials, we felt sure that it had to be a brilliant but tasteless parody. Alas, it is not. You've probably encountered it; it's for a "natural male enhancement" product called Enzyte, and the commercial begins, "This is Bob." The ad designers must have struggled mightily with their inner demons to resist the urge to name him "Dick."

Arm & Hammer has finally gone and stolen my sarcastic idea. The last time they ran a promotion for their product, they had 'consumers' putting baking soda into refrigerators and freezers, sprinkling it on rugs and even pouring it into toilets. I said to Bonnie at the time, "I'm surprised they don't have the nerve to suggest that we should dump a box into the garbage can in order to 'freshen it up.' Just think how clever that would be, convincing people to buy baking soda, take it home, and throw it right into the trash." Well, guess what, folks? We saw a new Arm & Hammer commercial last night that suggested that people should do exactly that. I hereby declare myself a visionary. Ain't hucksterism grand?

Lastly. When we were much younger, one of our favorite songs was 'Dust in the Wind,' by the group Kansas. We still love that song. And we are suckers for any video product that has neat special effects. There is a commercial currently running which has a few neat special effects and the song 'Dust in the Wind', put out by Subaru. You would think we would love it, given our propensities. But dammit, Kansas, YOU SOLD OUT! HOW COULD YOU?

Peace.